Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize