The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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