You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
