He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
