i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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