At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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