I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
