he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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