my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
