Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
