Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
