There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
