we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
