Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I would ride that face into the sunset
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
