end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
