im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
