i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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