Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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