You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
