Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
