i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
