GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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