I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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