You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
