i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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