I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
