i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
