Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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