is your mom at the bar?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
