Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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