she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
