i think my tv is drunk
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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