what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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