I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You are the jesus of drinking
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
