um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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