if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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