um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
