A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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