I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
