I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
