i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the day after is always just damage control
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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