in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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