I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
