did you get engaged???
This is not my ceiling
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
