i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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