She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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