This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
