Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
