And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
