dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Still dying that you shit outside
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
