I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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