He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I want her autograph on my taint
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
