On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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