uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize