What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
