as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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