when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
