Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
